This isn’t art.

This isn’t art.

Where the hell was I when the new style of hat wearing changed to “leave the price tag on.”

Where the hell was I when the new style of hat wearing changed to “leave the price tag on.”

There is only one acceptable time to say TGIF and thats if your going to Friday’s. Anyone who welcomes a Friday at the workplace with TGIF is an asshole.

There is only one acceptable time to say TGIF and thats if your going to Friday’s. Anyone who welcomes a Friday at the workplace with TGIF is an asshole.

We’ve all been in a condensed area with a few people that we consider strangers. Whether it be an elevator or a train or the grocery line. Your already in a room with people you dont know, but right when you think it cant get any more awkward, somebody gets a  phone call. When this happens its never the “honey how are you…im busy…ill call you back” phone call; Everytime your in one of these situations, its a battle for custody of the kids via telephone right in front of you. Now as I wait to get to the fifth floor on the elevator, I have to listen to Maria give me 10 good reasons why she deserves the kids. And if I ever even thought about telling them to be quiet, They’ll give me a look as if I’m the asshole. Fuck people.

We’ve all been in a condensed area with a few people that we consider strangers. Whether it be an elevator or a train or the grocery line. Your already in a room with people you dont know, but right when you think it cant get any more awkward, somebody gets a  phone call. When this happens its never the “honey how are you…im busy…ill call you back” phone call; Everytime your in one of these situations, its a battle for custody of the kids via telephone right in front of you. Now as I wait to get to the fifth floor on the elevator, I have to listen to Maria give me 10 good reasons why she deserves the kids. And if I ever even thought about telling them to be quiet, They’ll give me a look as if I’m the asshole. Fuck people.

This ones a mothers day special. If your thinking of doing something special for mom today, make sure you get approved by everyone else in your family. Nobody likes the asshole in the family that outdoes the other guys. Agree on a price limit, or no limit, whatever, just dont be a “one upper.”

This ones a mothers day special. If your thinking of doing something special for mom today, make sure you get approved by everyone else in your family. Nobody likes the asshole in the family that outdoes the other guys. Agree on a price limit, or no limit, whatever, just dont be a “one upper.”

I picked a classroom because allow me to educate you. The word salmon is pronounced sa-men..not sahl-mon. Also if you stress the s on illinois, then fuck you.

I picked a classroom because allow me to educate you. The word salmon is pronounced sa-men..not sahl-mon. Also if you stress the s on illinois, then fuck you.

Tag Me on Facebook!!!!

I didnt need a picture for this one. Look at any facebook profile in the world if you want one. But for those who have ever done this, how about you make your profile picture one of you holding a beer, or at a family gathering, or surfing, kissing a girl (even though you’d be a tool), dancing etc, like  everyone else. We dont need a picture of you and some other person trying to make this sexy pose that turns out awful with a blinding flash at the top left corner.

Fuck everyone who thinks slapping a disgusting blow up doll on your lawn covers you for this years christmas decorations.

Fuck everyone who thinks slapping a disgusting blow up doll on your lawn covers you for this years christmas decorations.

I’ve literally broken scissors trying to open these types of packages. What makes electronics so special that they need “anti-openable” packaging

I’ve literally broken scissors trying to open these types of packages. What makes electronics so special that they need “anti-openable” packaging

Just a little something that pisses me off, a smidgen. TV shows, commercials; they’re just as good without the doorbell sounding off in one of them. Now as soon as that happens, I have to look towards the door, or convince every member of the group I am currently with thay it was the TV, not the doorbell

Just a little something that pisses me off, a smidgen. TV shows, commercials; they’re just as good without the doorbell sounding off in one of them. Now as soon as that happens, I have to look towards the door, or convince every member of the group I am currently with thay it was the TV, not the doorbell